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Conflict Management in Berlin for You and Your Team

Mediation & Conflict Moderation

  • Does your team lack motivation?
  • Are you spending more and more energy and time on misunderstandings?
  • Smoldering conflicts are evident and affecting work?
  • Errors, absenteeism or employee retention have become serious issues?
  • Joy and humor at work are becoming increasingly rare?

“Problem talk creates problems. Solutiontalk creates solutions.”

Steve de Shazer

It is often possible to resolve smoldering conflicts in a three-way discussion or in a team building workshop. But sometimes not. Then a specifically communicated mediation or conflict moderation can be very helpful, as it also invites a different perspective in addition to conflict resolution: Seeing conflicts as an opportunity and using them to bring about a positive change in the current situation. The participants get the chance to tackle their issues in a confidential setting, to develop their own solutions and to take away helpful insights for dealing with conflicts beyond these discussions.

Successful conflict management looks for win-win solutions for everyone involved.

Here are some examples of workplace conflicts

  • intercultural conflicts (whether east-west, north-south or country X and country Y: in the working world, cultural characteristics are sometimes noticeable when greeting each other and even more so when working together)
  • Understanding of roles and tasks (e.g. due to lack of definition of responsibilities)
  • Dealing with conflicts themselves (e.g. desire for harmony and thereby repressing the conflict versus desire for clarification on the other side)
  • Communication of feedback or criticism (some people need it clearly, others need a subtle hint)
  • Value conflicts (e.g. different understanding of reliability, punctuality, order, structure)
  • Conflicts of fact (e.g. about the procedure for planning a project)
  • Hierarchy conflicts (e.g. long-term employees with new employees)
  • Relationship conflicts (the chemistry may not be right, but a way to work together can usually be found)

Lösungen mit dem Konfliktmanagement - Konfliktmoderatorin Kostadinowa-Rohde - ins Rollen bringen

Conflict management for you and your team is a measure that can save you time, energy and money in the long term.

A concrete example: value conflicts

Our individual values are reflected in our actions, our behavior in various contexts and in our way of communicating. They are part of us and also part of every corporate culture. Values are therefore not objects and they are often difficult to grasp. We feel them especially when tensions arise or when something has been exaggerated. For example, over-responsibility can be taken as interference, or too much trust as blind trust.

Chancen durch Mediation oder Konfliktmoderation gemeinsam erarbeiten - Konfliktmanagement in BerlinWhat should be lived and to what extent in the team can be worked out together in mediation or conflict moderation, so that the common values can also be used as a motor for development.

I am a trained mediator (member of the Bundesverband Mediation) and have numerous experiences alone or in co-mediation with colleagues in the professional world as well as in private contexts. In international teams, I have taken over various conflict moderations – even in highly escalated situations – and am always happy when the waves have calmed down, everyone was able to save face and good solutions were worked out.

Conflict management “Yes”, but should it be mediation or conflict moderation?

Mediation oder Konfliktmoderation - Konfliktmanagement in BerlinIf you are not sure whether mediation or conflict moderation is the right way for your situation, we are happy to clarify this in advance in a joint discussion.

If you are not yet familiar with the process of mediation or with the conflict moderation approach, you can find some useful information below. Of course, you can also contact me if you have any questions so that I can advise you personally on which type of conflict management is likely to be most helpful for you.

Basic information on mediation and conflict moderation

The 5 phases and 6 basic principles of mediation

stage 1

Here, the mediators are first informed about the course of the mediation by the mediator. Common rules of conduct are also agreed, e.g

  • let each other speak
  • no insults
  • attentive listening
  • allow notes
  • the mediator may intervene

The role of the mediator is to take responsibility for the process and to offer helpful interventions.

After agreeing on the rules, a joint mediation contract is often signed, which is binding for all parties involved.

stage 2

The mediator first collects all the issues of the conflicting parties – usually on a flipchart or a metaplan board. While the mediators present their points of view, the mediator makes sure that they speak one after the other, everyone gets the time he or she needs and, if possible, everyone has the same speaking time. He asks questions for understanding and completeness of all issues pertaining to the conflict.

stage 3

The point here is to find out what the actual interests and needs are behind the conflict: it is about feelings, needs, motives, interests and desires. The task of the mediator in this phase is to continue to ask questions, clarify and gradually restore direct communication between the conflicting parties. Sometimes it makes sense in this phase to agree on one-to-one meetings by mutual agreement.

stage 4

Now it is the challenge of the mediators to work out possible solutions together. Similar to a brainstorming session, the first thing to do is collect. Proposals and options are then discussed and only in the next step are they evaluated as to whether and which proposed solutions are appropriate for the agreement and whether they can also be implemented. The goal is to reach a consensus.

stage 5

At the end of a mediation, a concrete final agreement is usually written down, which may also be checked or even formulated by lawyers. The content is determined by the conflicting parties themselves, read out again by the mediator and signed by all those involved.

The 6 basic principles in mediation

In addition to the various phases in mediation, which make the process so transparent and therefore also successful, the process is also supported by the following 6 basic principles :

1. Confidentiality

The parties and the mediator undertake to maintain confidentiality throughout the entire process.

2. Voluntary

The parties take part in the mediation voluntarily and can also decide for themselves whether and when they want to end it.

3. Neutrality of the mediator

The mediator supports the parties in finding a solution, but remains neutral towards the mediators at all times (all partisanship).

4. Personal Responsibility

With the help of the mediator, the parties to the conflict develop their own solutions and also bear the resulting responsibility.

5. Complete Awareness

Knowledge and information are disclosed for finding a solution together, so that everyone involved has the same starting point.

6. Openness of results of the participants

Mediation is an open-ended process, because it does not live from specifications, but from the results of the mediators who have worked out themselves and who are supported and accompanied on their way to a solution by the mediator.

The conflict moderation

Conflict moderation is an independent concept of mediation and is used to resolve conflicts in a business or organizational context. She uses systemic advice and moderation in the sense of “mediation in conflict” as an approach to conflict resolution in organizations. Just as in mediation, the conflict moderator is committed to impartiality. The aim of conflict moderation is to clarify the relationship and conflict between all those involved. This then serves as the basis for the jointly sought solutions and agreements.

Various conflicts can be processed using conflict moderation, e.g

  • Conflict between two people (e.g. in the context of leadership)
  • Conflicts between several people (e.g. team conflict or between managers and employees or between managers and employees)

Participation in conflict moderation should be voluntary if possible. However, it is possible that it is obligatory in the context of a dependent activity as an employee.

The goals of conflict moderation are:

  • Clarification of injuries (of a psychological nature)
  • Resolution of the conflict (a written agreement is optional)
  • agreement among those involved. No judge or superior makes the decisions for the conflicting parties.

Konfliktlösungen erarbeiten mit Konfliktmoderatorin Kostadinowa-Rohde

Customer testimonials Mediation/conflict moderation

“Both the team, my partner and I got to know and appreciate Ms. Kostadinowa-Rohde’s warm-hearted manner, her sense of humor and her structured leadership. She asks smart questions, catches up when things get very emotional, points the way when one or the other is stuck in a mental dead end, is always empathetic and patient and continuously gives appreciative and helpful feedback. We all felt empowered and understood through working with her. Supported by her working style, the understanding between us was deepened and the cohesion of everyone was promoted. My partner and I now have a strong and motivated team that we enjoy working with every day.”

“The reason for our mediation with Ms. Kostadinowa was a profound conflict. I went into mediation with little hope because I knew how deadlocked our situation was and I couldn’t imagine a way out of it. I found the warm and at the same time systemic approach to be very consistent, characterized by mindfulness, respect and genuine interest. Real encounters took place in the protected space, which helped to deal with each other more carefully in everyday life. Very sensitive coaching in a life crisis. Very helpful support and creative solutions. Thanks!”

“The reason for our mediation with Ms. Kostadinowa was a profound conflict. I went into mediation with little hope because I knew how deadlocked our situation was and I couldn’t imagine a way out of it. I found the warm and at the same time systemic approach to be very consistent, characterized by mindfulness, respect and genuine interest. Real encounters took place in the protected space, which helped to deal with each other more carefully in everyday life. Very sensitive coaching in a life crisis. Very helpful support and creative solutions. Thanks!”

“Ms. Kostadinowa helped our family reconnect after a long-standing intergenerational family conflict. Ms. Kostadinowa conducted the difficult and emotional discussions in a very clearly structured and benevolent manner. Her temperamental and at the same time attentive and prudent nature created an atmosphere in which every member of our family was given the necessary space to open up. Ms. Kostadinowa supported us in the mediation not only in understanding the other person better, but even in understanding herself. Thanks to Ms. Kostadinowa, my family has made a big step forward.”

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